The Pawpaw: In-N-Out, Chick-fil-A to collaborate on world’s largest drive-thru at coming Citation Centre

Lexington, Ky. (SATIRE)–Popular west coast burger chain In-N-Out held a joint press conference today with Chick-fil-A, the Guinness Book of World Records, US Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, and Buccee’s to announce the centerpiece of the coming Citation Centre.

“This disruptive new design could forever change the way Lexingtonians spend their free time,” said Dudley Webb, who was also in attendance.

The 8 lane, 120 kiosk double black diamond roundabout will service a new In-N-Out/KFC combination restaurant, the first in the country; a Mega Chick-fil-A; and a Buccee’s in the center.

Upon entering the roundabout, diners will receive a text message with their assigned ordering kiosk number. They will then place their mobile order while continuing to transit the roundabout (some diners may choose to stop in and peruse at Bucee’s while they wait for their order.) When their order is ready, the diner will receive another text with a link to activate their smartphone’s RFID feature (required for entry to roundabout.) Upon activation, the diner can simply open their vehicle’s window, sunroof, or convertible top and a cutting edge smartcannon will fire their intact order into it as they go by–no need to slow down and impede traffic. The expensive smartcannon technology was originally designed by Elon Musk’s SpaceX, and was licensed by LFUCG exclusively for the Webb project.

Buttigieg presented Mayor Gorton with an oversized check in the amount of $700 million for the federal government’s share after the event.

(Original photo by Jordan Aerial Photography)

This is satire. Obviously.