The Pawpaw: Gorton says, “I am the Council,” executes Order 66
Lexington, Ky. (SATIRE)–Lexington Mayor Linda Gorton permanently circumvented the incoming Urban County Council Thursday, directing her Police Chief, Lawrence Weathers, to execute the rarely used and controversial Order 66....
The Pawpaw: Mayor 2022 – Kloiber drops to third as write-in votes are counted
Lexington, KY (Satire)–Fayette County Clerk Donald W Blevins, Jr. announced a surprising new development in Lexington’s Mayoral election results today. “After reviewing the first batch of results, I noted...
The Pawpaw: Gorton cuts ribbon on new Division of Women’s Health Enforcement wing at St. Joe East
Lexington, Ky (Satire)–Local women had the opportunity to experience a spooky new attraction at the City’s annual Halloween Thriller Parade on Saturday. Republican Mayor Linda Gorton, in conjunction with...
The Pawpaw: Kloiber family expresses concerns candidate is stress eating following Reddit AMA inconsistencies
Lexington, Ky (Satire) — The family of Lexington, Kentucky mayoral candidate David Kloiber expressed concerns Sunday that he may be stress eating to cope with the pressure as his...
The Pawpaw: In-N-Out, Chick-fil-A to collaborate on world’s largest drive-thru at coming Citation Centre
Lexington, Ky. (SATIRE)–Popular west coast burger chain In-N-Out held a joint press conference today with Chick-fil-A, the Guinness Book of World Records, US Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, and...
The Pawpaw Parody: motorists rejoice as mayor cuts ribbon on New Circle/Liberty Rd. Bypass
Drivers in the Liberty Road area honked and cheered loudly from their cars Thursday as Mayor Linda Gorton and city leaders cut the ribbon on the brand new Liberty/New...
The Pawpaw Parody: council candidate dissed by incumbent, who says she does not speak English
The 11th District’s wily Council Member, Jennifer Reynolds, deftly extricated herself from a particularly awkward situation at the Lexington Farmers’ Market this Sunday. Reynolds was chilling with some of...
The Pawpaw Parody: Gorton 0-2 in September as raging Stoops causes backfield mayhem during lawsuit response presser
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when University of Kentucky Head Football Coach Mark Stoops was invited to Mayor Linda Gorton’s 4:29 pm press conference on Friday. “I get...
Breaking: Lexington Times loads legal howitzer as competing publication places them in crosshairs
The Georgetown Insider has caught the fake news bug, it seems. Early Sunday morning, the Scott County publication released a false story that claimed The Lexington Times was relocating...
The Pawpaw Parody: UK Interfraternity Council offers hastily organized study abroad program in Sarajevo following UK win
The Kentucky Interfraternity Council hastily organized a special study abroad program in Sarajevo, the capital of Bosnia and Herzegovina, a country which does not have an extradition treaty with...